Losing Battles, To Win Wars

Learn to think long term.

This is something I have had to learn the hard way in my relationship with my Mom. For years we have been fighting it out over stupid issues and getting our feelings hurt when one of us accidentally steps over the line. 

My sister is only 2 years older than me, but she is wise beyond her years. Since she was 18 years old, she has been trying to mediate the arguments between my mother and myself. Every time she told me to  stop and think about the conversation and what I wanted to accomplish with it. Was yelling and screaming to my mother that something was unfair going to get me what I wanted? No. So why was that the only way I could approached a disagreement with her? 

I learned to pick my battles, to win the overall war. Not to say that my relationship with my Mom is a War. But it really did help our relationship for me to stop and think about the worth of the conversation and my tone.

Have an end game. And think about where you want to go, and how you need to act to get there.

4 Words I Live By

I have been playing around with this new idea. As a theatre performance major, many of my classes require me to talk about my own life experiences and the pieces that I can draw from when working on building a character for the stage. Recently, there is one story I keep coming back to, that has inspired this new freedom of thinking for me, and that is:

Make people love you. 

...That's it. It's that simple.

Now, I'm sure you are wondering, "Ashton, what was that one story that you kept going back to?" Well. Without embarrassing myself too much I will tell you...but only because it has a happy ending. 

It was my freshman year at HPU, and I had fallen for one of my best friends. He was a flirt. And I mean a BIG flirt. It was the night of the Pi Kapp Highlighter party and everyone was dressed in neon colors sports bras and shorts with whites cut up shirts to draw on with highlighters. Chaz being a gentleman walked me back to his house where a few of our friends were going to continue to celebrations. At this point in the night, I was having a great time! I had been drinking with my friends and the guy I really liked was walking with me to his house. 

I decided that this was as good a time as any to let him know how I felt. 

So I kissed him.

After the 5 seconds of shock, he grinned and just said, "Yeah?" All the while smiling from ear to ear.

Then I told him how it was. I told him that I really liked him, and that I believed that we were going to eventually date and be together. I said that I had prayed about it to God and that everything was going to work out the way it should. So no pressure. 

At hearing this, his face of shock was back but this time it took a little bit longer for him to compose himself. But then he kissed me.

3 weeks later we were dating.

And I am so happy to say that April 11, 2015 is our 3 year anniversary.

So many wonderful things can happen in your life if you have the courage and conviction to: 

Make people love you. 

First Loss

Death is something that make a lot of people feel uncomfortable. Why is that? Is it because we know that one day, death will also come for us? Death happens to everyone, so you would think that it would be a normal topic of conversation seeing that it happens everyday.

The first time we lose someone in our lives, is the time when we ask a lot of questions. I was only 8 years old when my MawMaw Lola passed away. She was 91 years old and I thought she was the best thing since sliced bread! I would go to stay with her for a few days at a time in Egypt, Arkansas. Now for anyone that has never been to AR, Egypt it has a total population of 201 people living there. My days with my MawMaw were spent listening to the radio and eating honey buns on the front porch after church on Sunday.

I remember my mother sitting my sister and I down to tell us that MawMaw had fallen asleep and didn't wake up. As a child, I didn't fully grasp what that meant. I asked a lot of questions. Why did MawMaw not want to wake up? Where did she go? Was she with God in heaven? And where exactly is heaven, can I visit her there?

Going to the funeral answered many of those questions, better than my mother could at the time. I will never forget seeing her in that open casket and having to leave the room. Whoever was laying in the casket was not the MawMaw I knew. She looks cold, still, and unwelcoming...the complete opposite of the women I knew and loved.

What was your first experience losing someone? How old were you? Was is confusing?

Death seems so natural to me now that I have grown up a little. Not something to fear or run from, but an end to a wonderful journey. What are your thoughts?