This is something I have had to learn the hard way in my relationship with my Mom. For years we have been fighting it out over stupid issues and getting our feelings hurt when one of us accidentally steps over the line.
My sister is only 2 years older than me, but she is wise beyond her years. Since she was 18 years old, she has been trying to mediate the arguments between my mother and myself. Every time she told me to stop and think about the conversation and what I wanted to accomplish with it. Was yelling and screaming to my mother that something was unfair going to get me what I wanted? No. So why was that the only way I could approached a disagreement with her?
I learned to pick my battles, to win the overall war. Not to say that my relationship with my Mom is a War. But it really did help our relationship for me to stop and think about the worth of the conversation and my tone.
Have an end game. And think about where you want to go, and how you need to act to get there.
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